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06.02.2005 | 10:25 p.m. translated weight Under 96: PERFECTION. I am most body confident, but still very EDed 97: Really motivated to push my way through to under 96. There is no turning back and gaining would be the hugest failure. 100-01: I feel like an imposter. Not quite ED enough, not quite healthy. 102-104: Not unhealthy. Trying to tell myself that there is still hope to lose weight and be happier. Scared to death of reaching 105+. 105-107: I lable myself as fat and unacceptable. I feel like a failure. 108-110: I would be undergoing great emotional crisis and self hatered. 110-115: This is unfathomably scary. I have not been this weight for 8 or 9 years. Last Five: empty, force, hope, too much - 07.31.2005 hello heartache, hello faith, hello confusion - 07.5.2005 LITANY AGAINST FEAR - 07.12.2005 healing, wonderful, the worse thing ever - 06.20.2005 translated weight - 06.02.2005 before | after |