05.07.2004 | 3:17 p.m.
then and now, never enough, Color Quiz

Color Quiz

Looked at old HS pictures. I wasn't as thin as I thought I was. I find that I often kick myself for not being at thin as I was in HS. After seeing that I am actually thinner now and would be mortified if I looked like that now...I kinda feel better.

The sad thing is that 101 or more is way to big as it is. I want to be a clean 100....but my ideal is 95. *sigh* I just need to be better as saying no to sweet things.

Your Existing Situation

Attracted by anything new, modern, or intriguing. Liable to the bored by the humdrum, the ordinary, or the traditional.

Your Stress Sources

Feels unappreciated and finds the existing situation disagreeable. Wants personal recognition and the esteem of others to compensate for the lack of like-minded people with whom to ally herself and make herself more secure. Her sensual self-restraint makes it difficult for her to give herself, but the resulting isolation leads to the urge to surrender and merge with another. This disturbs her as she regards such instincts as weaknesses to be overcome; only by not succumbing to them, she feels, can she withstand the difficulties of the situation. Wants to be valued as a desirable associate and admired for her personal qualities.

Your Restrained Characteristics

An unadmitted lack of confidence makes her careful to avoid open conflict and she feels she must make the best of things as they are.

Feels that things stand in her way, that circumstances are forcing her to compromise and forgo some pleasures for the time being.

Your Desired Objective

Longs for a tender and sympathetic bond and for a situation of idealized harmony. Has an imperative need for tenderness and affection. Susceptible to anything esthetic.

Your Actual Problem

Greatly impressed by the unique, by originality, and by individuals of outstanding characteristics. Tries to emulate the characteristics she admires and to display originality in her own personality.

Your Actual Problem #2

Depleted vitality has created an intolerance for any further stimulation, or demands on her resources. This feeling of powerlessness subjects her to agitation and acute distress. She attempts to escape into a substitute world in which things are more nearly as she desires them to be.

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Last Five:
empty, force, hope, too much - 07.31.2005
hello heartache, hello faith, hello confusion - 07.5.2005
LITANY AGAINST FEAR - 07.12.2005
healing, wonderful, the worse thing ever - 06.20.2005
translated weight - 06.02.2005