04.14.2004 | 12:10 a.m.
blah blah

i am feeling desperately lonely. eyes are infected again, feeling ugly in glasses, just want to wear my contacts, no money, desperately want to be 97lbs, don't know where i will be living or working after graduation, it is happening too soon, job searching, applications that don't fill themselves out, thesis meetings, have to defend, tired, the war against not eating, being let down, i want to never sleep again and never eat again, i want to sleep forever and me skinny forever, where am i going, what is going to happen, am i going to be happy, can i be happy not knowing what is going on, what happened to calling if your not going to show up, tick tick the clock, need to clean my apartment, need to get rid of all the crap i don't need, less to carry down the stairs when i move out, i want some security, i want a promise, i want something to hold on to that won't let me down, something i won't question, don't eat don't eat don't eat don't eat, lose lose lose lose lose

---

Last Five:
empty, force, hope, too much - 07.31.2005
hello heartache, hello faith, hello confusion - 07.5.2005
LITANY AGAINST FEAR - 07.12.2005
healing, wonderful, the worse thing ever - 06.20.2005
translated weight - 06.02.2005