02.03.2004 | 7:34 p.m.
feel 110+.plan.waiting.change not fast enough

my pants feel tight.

i want to take them off but think i should spend the night in them just to punish myself with the feeling of tightness

i know that the last time i weighed myself i was 100 but felt 110.

well, i haven't weighed in since but i feel like i look 110+

i am quiting my usual scone and coffee in the morning.

coffee only and if i truely need to at something i am going to bring an apple

i feel that fruit and vegs are safer

two apples a day until dinner and then...only salad.

yes, tomarrow i am bringing two apples and buying some salad.

i would rather be WAY underweight and worried about that then feeling fat and worred about gaining.

i okay i have a plan and hope that keeps me from crying tonight

until then i need to wait out this huge waist and tight pants feeling....waiting for noticable change

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Last Five:
empty, force, hope, too much - 07.31.2005
hello heartache, hello faith, hello confusion - 07.5.2005
LITANY AGAINST FEAR - 07.12.2005
healing, wonderful, the worse thing ever - 06.20.2005
translated weight - 06.02.2005