05.02.2003 | 4:40 p.m.
too busy to eat, small numbers

i'm a zombie. my days are filled with have-to's and all of my want-to's are not getting the attention they need. i need break. rather, i need to be able to have time to work on my classes. my classes are starting to suffer because i spend my days this have-to's. grading, office hours, meeting with students who do things last minute, run up and down campus to see client's call clients, return phone calls from clients, give tests, go to class, my copies.....when i get home i grade, a review, and i have no energy for me....all i think is my God i am not eating and it is too easy to lie and say that i did so that i don't. is that the only thing good about falling behind in classes....it is sign that i am too busy to eat. why can't i get under 100.....my weight goes to 102, then 101, then 100, 102, 101, 102, 101, 100.....every day! what the fuck do i weight! i can't take the changes from day to day. why can't i be struggling with 99,98,97,98,99? *sigh* smaller numbers....

i need sleep and three papers finished when i wake up.

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Last Five:
empty, force, hope, too much - 07.31.2005
hello heartache, hello faith, hello confusion - 07.5.2005
LITANY AGAINST FEAR - 07.12.2005
healing, wonderful, the worse thing ever - 06.20.2005
translated weight - 06.02.2005