05.04.2003 | 11:24 a.m.
muscle?

pigged out yesterday...

Breakfast:

NF Chi Tea

Lunch:

One microwave burrito

1 cup of spanish rice

1 banana

Dinner:

A slice of cheese

1 piece of bread

2 cups of ice cream

1 diet pepsi

This morning...weighed in at a fucking 102!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i want to be shot

i did 100 situp and my weights.

i keep telling myself...my weight lifting is making me gain....that is a good gain..

muscle weighs more than fat, right?! right?! i hope that that is not an old wives tale. 101 to 102...a pound of muscle? please let it only be that....

almost non and only water, NF latte, and half a LF scone. NOTHING until dinner....only a saled....this is the plan...

nothing feels worse than going from 101 to 102....102 is too close to 103...YUK!!!

I NEED to go back to 100, so that I can consintrate with the rest of my life.

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Last Five:
empty, force, hope, too much - 07.31.2005
hello heartache, hello faith, hello confusion - 07.5.2005
LITANY AGAINST FEAR - 07.12.2005
healing, wonderful, the worse thing ever - 06.20.2005
translated weight - 06.02.2005