04.08.2003 | 4:49 p.m.
full, feel sick, cannot eat.

Yesterday, all i ate was a cup of rice and a pb sandwhich at 7pm. Today i ate 3/4th of a bean burrito and 6 mexinuggets. i felt awful. i feel nausous whenever i eat. today, i literaly felt like i was going to puke. i have never binged and purged before, ever. The feeling of that heavy food in my just made me ill. i had this thought that i would feel so much better if it all came out of me. It didn't and i am sitting here feeling terribly uncomfortable. i am no going eat anything else today and hope that the next day i will be able to eat something without getting that sick feeling. maybe i should try eating smaller amounts. i need a nap. then off to study more.

sometimes a question, is this a part of recovery or just another excuse not to eat?

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Last Five:
empty, force, hope, too much - 07.31.2005
hello heartache, hello faith, hello confusion - 07.5.2005
LITANY AGAINST FEAR - 07.12.2005
healing, wonderful, the worse thing ever - 06.20.2005
translated weight - 06.02.2005