03.06.2003 | 9:19 p.m.
forced to see a counslor

People at school are talking. my mentor pulled me aside and said she was worried about me. i am worried about me. it scared me more that people have been noticing. here i thought that people didn't even know that i was in the room, let alone left the room. i haven't gained but feel fatter. i am on stress overload.

she made me see a counselor. weird. a couselor seeing a counselor. it is a strange experience. i need to start taking care of me. i put all of my other crap before me and it is shreading me up. we talked about self care. we talked about the things in my life that i have no control over (i.e., E being deployed to war, parents health, clients not showing up, assistantship demands, a certain class). maybe i am trying to control my food. who the f$#k knows.

today, i had a nf latte and a nf chi tea. i look in the mirror and see a blob. what the hell is wrong with me. i know that this will pass. it has too. it will. how can i make the best of this funk i'm in? i'm taking the night off. i'm done!

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Last Five:
empty, force, hope, too much - 07.31.2005
hello heartache, hello faith, hello confusion - 07.5.2005
LITANY AGAINST FEAR - 07.12.2005
healing, wonderful, the worse thing ever - 06.20.2005
translated weight - 06.02.2005