12.27.2002 | 10:52 a.m.
Good by, holiday food, Canada

Christmas has come along…

I am ashamed to admit that I was pretty bummed out because this is yet another Christmas where I did not get anything I specifically asked for (that which I really needed). I talked to E about it and he really helped me realize that it is more fun to pick something out for someone because it reminded them of that person. I suppose so. This is our third Christmas together, yet the first one that we have spent together, he is usually working.

Today, my sister’s family moved to their first home in Illinois. Yesterday I made it a point to spend some one on one time with each of her children. Gaby and I got into the car. I asked, “Where would you like to go?” Having never been asked this question before, she request to go to The Bon so that we can ride the escalators 3 times. We did. We walked around Target looking for an angle ornament. Maggie and I colored in coloring books. Joseph and I played with our feet and watch his grandpa feed the fish. Grace and I played with eachother's noses. Needless to say, when it came time for my parents to drive me home, I couldn't stop crying. I am going to miss them terribly.

The holiday has been bitter sweet. I have tried my hardest to only eat one meal a day. Which I have been doing. However, candy and cookies are everywhere! I tried snaking on cheese over chocolate. I am sad about how fattening the cheese is. Why are holidays centered around food and not people?! "What are you eating? Have you tried this? Did anyone bring any yams? Isn't the cider great? Would you pass me more of the gravy? When are we having pie? We should make some homemade fudge." This drives me crazy! People look at you like a humbug if you don't partake in this gluttony. What the Hell! It is like the whole world would be more amused if they could see everyone with fat hips.

E and I going to Whistler on Saturday and coming back on the 1st. I have never been in Canada, so I am excited. I plan to snowboard, working my thesis, read and maybe do some drawing.

But, again, I am so scare of gaining weight. I would hate to go back to school and have everyone say, “Wow, she’s put on some holiday pounds.” This is what my New Years resolution should be. Weight 100 pounds and excise more. We’ll see. I just need to fill up on liquids over fatty foods I think.

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Last Five:
empty, force, hope, too much - 07.31.2005
hello heartache, hello faith, hello confusion - 07.5.2005
LITANY AGAINST FEAR - 07.12.2005
healing, wonderful, the worse thing ever - 06.20.2005
translated weight - 06.02.2005