12.23.2002 | 1:29 p.m.
not clicking

Saturday I went to my bfs family Christmas party. It was at his aunt’s house...should I say castle! It is right on Lake Washington and house really is a castle. I was comfortable and had a good time for the most part. I am glad to say that I love his family but ... unfortunately there are two people that I simply do NOT click with. His cousin Jen only talks about herself and her traveling. She is very talented in the ability to turn the smallest comment around to something that happened to her while in some country. “Oh, you walked in the mall. Remember when I told you about how I had to walk a mile with my luggage in rain in Monaco to get to my friend's house. You know the friend I made while drinking only bottled water in Maitland because you know that you cannot drink the water.” “Oh, you are planning to stay the night? I stayed the night in Finland and it took a while to get use to their eating practices. To this day I still can’t eat yellow cheese…” AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! His cousin is the most self-centered person. She even had to the nerve to make a comment, “I have traveled to over 20 countries by the age of 20. Everyone travels, who doesn’t.” She was put off when I said that I have never the left the country and would much rather travel the states. I guess I have not the the luxury of leisurely traveling and if I did, I would hope that I would not have the need to educate the people around me of my endeavors years later. Tacky! As for as his cousin, I can get over that. His sister positively hates me! I am convinced that she will never ever accept me as a significant part of his life and I will NEVER be good enough. Do you have any idea what it is like to be welcomed warmly by his whole family (laugh and smile and enjoy good conversation) and have his sister not make one word to me or make eye contact! There isn’t a time that we travel to his family and I end up crying, privately, because of how cold she is to me. Maybe I shouldn't be that sensitive. I see how my family has opened their arms to E and how his family has shown interest in my family and me. I don’t know how to handle it. Christmas is almost here and still don’t know what to buy E. I'm just glad that I have not gained too much with all of these parties that we are attending. 101 to 103. Not bad. I’d be happier at 101…I’m sure when school starts up again I'll go back to 101. maybe less…..

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Last Five:
empty, force, hope, too much - 07.31.2005
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LITANY AGAINST FEAR - 07.12.2005
healing, wonderful, the worse thing ever - 06.20.2005
translated weight - 06.02.2005